Welcome, brave capsuleers, to the Proctology Guild of New Eden, where our motto is: "We’re here for your back end, so you don’t have to go in alone!" Dr. Fuzzy Bottom, head proctologist and founder, has been offering free (yes, FREE) proctological exams to all pilots since the dawn of New Eden. Whether you’re in a battle cruiser or a frigate, we’ve got the tools and the tender touch to keep your rear end in tip-top shape. Forget the Empire’s fancy medical ships—come to us and let’s take a look under the hood... or, well, under some hood. The procedure? Simple. No need for lube—just a hearty hand and the power of positive thinking.
Our dedicated team of skilled doctors and nurses (most of us are also skilled at space combat, don't ask how) offer immediate exams at the most inconvenient times possible. After all, what better way to prepare for battle than knowing your backside is in optimal condition? We guarantee our exams are thorough, honest, and slightly uncomfortable... but we also promise no one leaves with a clean bill of health.